Like the thousands of high school and colleges students released to the wilds of summer, I had to find a seasonal job. Unlike the aforementioned pimpled group, I am an adult (sort of) and well, needed a job that would help support my adult expenses. Adult expenses sounds extravagant… unfortunately my ‘adult expenses’ are not golden lacquered tennis shoes, but instead car insurance and other drab money sucks. So I put on a smile, turned up the charm and managed to score a very adult-y (which sounds like porn, but not… I promise or this entry would be ten times more interesting) summer gig as a librarian-type person in an ultra tre cool science museum. I was stoked… then I realized getting to the joint would be a hassle. During my normal librarian job, I had a hefty commute, so driving wouldn’t be much of an issue- but ugggggh across the bridge?! And uggghhhh through downtown San Franciso?! AND ugggggggggh the TRAFFIC going home?!?! Holy crap this was going to be a drag- especially during the poorly timed Van Ness Ave.
Green Light Red Light Green Light Red Light.
I wanted to pull my hair out and and bang my face against the steering wheel in sheer desperation. Then slowly day by day, I started to notice things:
A bedraggled tranny casually talking to a dude in a dirty suit- what the hell was the story behind that?! Were they remnants from the night before or were they getting ready for a lovely day of costumes?
A man with frosted tips riding a pink fuzzy bike. Did he make this bike or did his crazy ass girlfriend make it, and force him to ride it to work as a testament to her love?
A lonely woman sitting forlorn in a bunny costume. Was she sad or high?
An ex-boyfriend- FUCK! Drive faster!
A few days ago, I sat mindlessly waiting at a light at Van Ness and California… I noticed something twitch in the corner of my vision, normally I wouldn’t look for fear of seeing a bum urinating, but I could sense it was blue and exotic, so I decided to turn my head. Wafting across the intersection was a lone vibrant indigo feather boa, delicately rolling like some psychedelic tumbleweed. My mouth hung agape as I watched it snake and roll against itself in the street. I imagined some bawdy drag queen hurling it at rude cab driver, but resolved that a wayward bachelorette party probably lost it from the limo ride home.
At this point I realized: Van Ness is probably the best fucking street to be stopped at a light, a never ending source of morning entertainment for which I will always be grateful for
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:27 am
not to ruin your daily source of entertainment on van ness BUT if you want to get to work faster in the morning, just go one block west past van ness to franklin (one way headed north) where all the lights are timed, weeee! :)