Nnekay.com

Remember that kid in elementary school who would call the teacher ‘Mommy’ all the time? Or what about the one that would always pee her pants? Yea?

Of course you do, everyone remembers those freaks:

The Kissy Boy

The Dirty Girl

The Obligatory Bully (who we later felt sorry for because now we know he was mimicking his horrible home life).

Well, I was one of those. Yes… yes… the token black girl, but more importantly I was,

The Throw Up Girl.

Every year from Kindergarten to 5th grade, I would vomit in class. Sometimes in an elaborate special effect worthy way. Other times in quiet self-reflecting ralphs. Strangely, I was never embarrassed. I would barf then play it up as my thing. Why? Because I was a showboat little kid. Post-puberty Nnekay should have taken a cue from Vommy McVom-Vom- laughing at yourself works.

In the second grade a classmate of mine (who I found to be very attractive) got pants in the middle of the school yard. Do I remember him for his boyish good looks? No. I remember him standing dead center of the playground bright red bawling at the top of his lungs while his pants remained clustered at his ankles.

Since I still live in the same town as where I grew up. I watched Senor Pantalones grow into a strapping wanna be thug. Did I this new machismo invigorate my old crush. Nope. He was still the weenie boy who cried when his pants were pulled down.

You know what?

If he merely laughed it off- I might be pregnant with thug babies right now… or not, at least I wouldn’t be writing a blog post about him.

Unfortunately, me and Senor Pantalones traded spots when the hormones kicked in. He learned to laugh things off in Middle School- while I, let every single comment stab me deep within my tween heart.

Are you looking at me?! Cry

Are you whispering about me?! Cry

You’re dressing better than me?! Cry

Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry

Pre-boobs Nnekay would give a crap if they called me ‘forehead’, but post-boobs Nnekay cared so much, I still have bangs. As a teenager I would spend hours upon hours listening to 90s techno alone in my room, trying to unlock the mystery of my downfall from Elementary popularity to Middle School pariah.

It was simple– I didn’t give a shit in Elementary School, “I barf all the time, who cares?! I’m still an awesome kid!” Luckily, I figured this out before college (right before college) and I blossomed. A piece of me wants to go and hug all the Middle School freaks, tell them it will be okay and not to give a fuck.

Yet, on the other hand, as an adult Middle School kids are sort of  annoying.