Avatar.
I am so sick and tired of pretending that this movie is good. Yes, I saw it. Yes, I thought it was beautiful. Yes, I’m glad I saw it on the big screen. But why am I the only one really annoyed and disturbed by the storyline?! True, people are admiting that the screenplay is retarded, but everyone— EVERYONE is letting the overall prettiness of this crap fiesta win over storyline. WHYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?
If a resturant is decorated beautifully, but the food taste like shit, you’re not going to go back.
James Cameron… you burnt Avatar’s soufflee. I really wish I could revisit this movie to truly focus on the great special effects- but HELL NO am I sitting though that dumb played out story again.
I’ve compiled a list of reasons why Avatar is stupid. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t care if I spoil it for you… because you’re not going for the tale.
1. Unobtainium.
2. Why do the white guy invaders always get to fall in love with the princess? Why can’t they fall in love with Gertie, the mailman’s daughter?
3. Why are princesses always so beautiful. Queen Elizabeth used to be a princess… just sayn’.
4. This is a planet a gabillion light years away from Earth- How the hell did the natives get so African and Native American?
5. Why are the Natives born with a braid coming out of their heads… yes, I know that this is their connector cord or whatever, but shouldn’t it be like a dreadlock or something more organic.
6. Using a living thing as a puppet seems really horrible and cruel.
7. When does the main guy get to sleep? I mean, if he’s awake as an Avatar, and awake as himself… don’t you think his brain would explode after a week of never-ending loop living?
8. Why do imperialistic movies always make the native opposite love interest the bad guy? I mean you would be pretty cranky too if some random ass dude came tromping into to your world, stole your girlfriend, and fucked up your home.
9. There is only one ethnic human character in the whole goddamn movie… and it’s a sexified Michelle Rodriquez. If you’re going to do a movie about the ULTIMATE OTHER, throw some lesser others in on the human side– geez.
10. How many times have we seen a white guy get kicked off of a horse in a montage?
11. How many times have we seen the ”learnin’ the ropes” montages?
12. That chanting scene? Stolen from Baraka’s Balinese Monkey Chant scene.
(In fact I think James Cameron saw Baraka and made a lazy hodge-podge of what he saw.)
13. A giant blue, semi naked, ethnic lady just seems like a nerdy white guy’s wet dream- and that creeps me out.
14. All the fat ugly people who are going to go dressed like Na’vi to ComicCon 2010 and Halloween.
15. All the voices of the Na’vi are either Black or Native American actors.
Really… you don’t have to make the story complicated… just mix it up a little. Even though so much went into making this movie- it still seemed like a lazy mess to me.
January 10th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Agreed on every point except this one:
14. All the fat ugly people who are going to go dressed like Na’vi to ComicCon 2010 and Halloween.
I’m all for ragging on the cosplayers, but was the “fat ugly” part really necessary? You could have said “All the people who are going to go dressed [. . .]” - all of the groaning about unimaginative cosplayers, none of the body shaming.