I was not raised in a barn, as the saying goes. Which does sorta insult those who might have. Without getting too ridiculous on a PC wheel of fortune- simply put, I was raised to posses incredible manners- especially with strangers. With my friends and family this is a different story. It’s funny how shitty we treat the closest to us, but I guess it’s because we assume they know our true colors- no need to shine them up for display.
It helps that my brilliant manners co-exist with a deep desire to shy from conflict. These two mix together to become Polite Avoidance Soup- which is rather tasty on a summer’s day.
“Treat others how you would like to be treated,” another saying… maybe even the biggest saying- it is called the Golden Rule after all, even though gold isn’t as popular in this economic crisis.
Sounds simple enough, but I find this to be difficult- especially if people like being treated different ways. I for one rather enjoy being politely avoided by strangers. I don’t know you? Smile and move on.
The simple version of why this saying is flawed: people like different things.
One lady might like it when a strangers come up to her and talk about how lovely the day is; I don’t. Now, we’re in a pickle. I politely oblige to participate in her nonsensical musings, hating every bit of this interaction. While she continues, not quite convinced of my fake cheer. Both of us, leaving the interaction disappointed and annoyed.
Yet, sometimes I wonder if people actually truly adhere to this “rule”.
Miss, is it entertaining for you to smile then be met with a frown from an on coming person?
Ma’am, do you like it when someone is tailgating you, then abruptly cuts you off only to drive slow?
Sir, do you find it enjoyable when someone says unsolicited dirty things to you, that do not titillate, but instead disgust and insults?
Lady, you must really like it when someone says backhanded compliments about your body.
My default mechanism, goes directly to the fact that I pack a three discrimination punch- and more times than not, I’m probably right. I think most people apply the golden rule to people who are like them (a part of their pack… if you follow the blog… winky-winky), making an excuse to NOT treat people who aren’t, let’s say… on their level, with the type of respect they desire.
“Oh, he’s in his early 20s, he doesn’t know better, whatever…”
It also goes in reverse, we give more respect than we would ever expect for ourselves to those whom we aspire to emulate.
Instead of hoping for the world to one day magically turn around into a land of polite happiness… I end up wishing bad on a large sum of these people. I imagine throwing rotting apples at bad drivers, I secretly will assholes at the job to trip and fall, and I make up snappy comebacks to rude comments. Unfortunately, my inner vigilante is wasted, because all of these scenarios demand conflict.
The easiest way to ruin Polite Avoidance Soup is to stir the pot… maybe it’s time I fuck up a batch or two.