Dear Mr. Crazy,
Why must you come into my library and set up shop right by my desk? Do you not see the thirty computers to your right? No, you HAVE to use the computer terminal that faces the reference desk and repeatedly say “fuck face” to the screen. Sometimes I wonder if you are secretly saying “fuck face” to me, but then I realize you are crazy, and even if you were, it wouldn’t really matter. I wish you understood that people don’t like hearing “fuck face” and “shit’s hella racist” over and over, but maybe you do and just don’t care. Perhaps you are a genius, because everyone always says there is a thin line between insanity and brilliance. I recently found out that sometimes when people are so incredibly smart, their brains can’t take it and form problems with sleep. Instead of snoozing they go dormant, while the brain stays active (i.e. awake) and the body is in a frozen state. Mr. Crazy, do you suffer from this? If I did, I would probably say “fuck face” to my computer screen too. Do you giggle to yourself when you blurt our “shit race” and I shh you calmly as if you were just playing your music too loud? If I’m in a good mood, I do… but today I’m not in a good mood, because I’m tired of your craziness. If there is any semblance of normalcy in your thought process, I bet you are too, and this makes me sad, because I can’t really do anything. Except hope that you’ll decide to not frequent my library tomorrow.
Sincerely,
The Librarian That is Constantly Trying to Avoid Eye Contact With You
