Nnekay.com

Well, I’m 25.

That ain’t young anymore.

Well, yes, in terms of being an adult, it’s a drop in the bucket, but turning twenty-five closes a chapter in the life of Nnekay, she’s not a youth anymore. Honestly, I could have wrote this blog when I turned 18 or 20- but I’ve held on to my youth for quite a while. I held on with a tight vice like grip and refused to let go, until now… I finally released my fist and re-leaved my white knuckle hold I’ve been sustaining for the past five or so years.

I am an adult.

Feels weird to say it, but all signs point to the fact that, yes… I am a woman. I maybe a cartoon watching, sneaker wearing, candy eating woman, but I’m still a woman. I drive my car, pay my rent and get mad when I leave the heat on for too long and have to pay the extra charges. Those are the obvious things, and honestly, people have been known to complete these tasks at an extremely early age- ages that wouldn’t be considered adulthood… and on the flip side there are people who are way older than me who aren’t exhibiting this classic “adult” behavior. What makes me really feel like an adult, is not my appearance, not what I do on a daily basis, but how I feel when I’m around teenagers and now (shock of all shocks) people in their early twenties.

OLD.

Granted it’s a cool old… like wow look at me, I can still dress hip and weird, and I don’t have a curfew, but no matter how you slice it, I feel old around 22 year olds and down. There was a time when, teenagers used to think I was one of them. . . I would get hit on by 15 year olds, girls would ask me about my sneakers or purses… but now I get silence. That awkward, there’s an adult in the room silence- and this ultimately is why I feel old. It’s like I’ve been slowly accumulating a glaze of old… that has finally hardened, I’m not apart of Club Youth anymore. Trends have already started to mystify me (skeleton jackets with zipper hoods? Sweeping Boy Bangs? WTF?), people are getting married, and some are even having babies, and the weirdest part- it’s not weird, it’s perfectly okay and not scandalous at all for people my age to start to settle, mold, and shape the beginning of their adult lives.

On the other side of things, I’ve also begun to notice how Club Old is now giving me a trial membership. I’m finding more and more older people (i.e. adults) have been inclined to talk to me about their children, marriages, politics, and other adult-y type things, I would have never been invited to engage in before. It’s new, and I kind of like it.

Oh, yea… happy birthday to me!

Why John Gray is a Douche Bag

By Nnekay

These are selections from Mars and Venus on a Date, in a section entitled “101 Places to Meet Your Soul Mate”:

2. Call up a friend’s date if and when they stop seeing each other. Be certain your friend is no longer seeing the person. (hmmmm, perhapes a little tacky)

3. Get involved with an old friend whose spouse has died or who is now divorced. Even if there was no attraction in the past, it may spring up now that your friend is available. (and vulnuable…creep-o)

4. Join the Adopt-a-Single program. Ask a couple to adopt you for a three month period and introduce you to their friends. (Or better known as Tag-a-Long Third Wheel- a-Thon)

13. Go to places where people are interested in things that you are not interested in. If you are not interested in museums, then go to a museum and ask questions of people who are art lovers. (How to be annoying and find someone you will have nothing in common with! Yay!)

17. Wear a uniform occasionally, even when you are off duty. It makes you more accessible to others. They feel they can ask you a question or ask for your help in some manner. (Or a nice way to look like an Ass or a Weirdo)

28. If you are a Democrat, visit a gathering or rally of Republicans. Let them try to convince you of their point of view. This makes for great conversation and connection. (Because it is soooo easy to ask out a person after getting into an argument and being disgusted with their political views)

61. If a woman always wears a lot of makeup or jewelry, she should try wearing less and sometimes none. Her soul mate will love just the way she is, and it may take some time for him to also like her in makeup. (is it me, or does this seem like an inside dig towards his wife…)

94. When you are in a bad mood, do something that you really don’t like doing. This way it can’t make you feel worse. (says who?) Sometimes when we are in a bad mood, deep inside we are feeling our deep need to be loved and to be loving. This vulberability can attract the right (creepy) person who has what we need. Sometimes it is when we are down and out, when we really need help, that God’s angels bring us a miracle. (I have no words for this)

The holiday season is in full swing and I’m still sick… crap-tard. It’s weird how colds can mutate from not being able to breath, to feeling cold, then hot, and now a hacking cough- which is making me feel like an old sickly lady who wears gloves with the fingers cut off and has stringy hair. why stringy hair… i dunno- just seems appropriate, huh? Anyway- should get over it soon, fingers crossed.

So being the day after Christmas, I thought I should write a holiday blog- but I’m over it. I worked in a card ‘n gift store and had to listen to inane x-mas music for hour after hour. That kinda ruined the spirit… but I did go to a kick ass White Elephant party- and walked away with a ceramic hippo. Why is it called White Elephant? Talked to my friend Blake and he called it a “pirate party” that makes more sense to me. I mean I guess it could be called White Elephant, because of the tacky presents that some one might get- but usually there are quite a few tacky presents… so well, they don’t exactly stand out like a white elephant- and why do we have white elephant sales… what is the deal with white elephants? sheesh. Sounded kinda like Jerry Seinfeld right then, huh…

Anyway, It’s always nice to hang out with family and friends around this time… makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy, Tiger escaped from the SF Zoo and went on a rampage yesterday. What the hell?! Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Tiger…

My co-workers are talking about earthquakes right now. I thought that there was one last night… but I think I was just dreaming.

so I’m hanging out at a friend’s house right now, and  think it’s hilarious how groups split up… via conversation… I’m a floater… so obviously no conversation is keeping me interested because I found the computer.

nerd alert.

So, as many of you noticed I started this blog with a bang, writing multiple post each day, but damn… I got sick. At first I didn’t realize I was sick, just plugging along with work and feeling a little tired. Then- it happened. A weird little tickle on the side of my throat. Oh I knew exactly what it was, and dammit was I mad. I was so pissed, I wanted to slap the sick bum that coughed on me and probably infected me with the black plague. That was terrible…but well, we all think stuff like that, I just say it.

So I rushed to the back and loaded up on up airborne (why the ‘e’- we’re not British), chugged a bunch of water, and complained (because it’s what I do best). Then the tickle grew to a scratch…then the scratch grew to a strangle. By this point, I couldn’t talk without almost drowning in saliva… what was wrong with me? Sickness never expanded so quickly before, at this point I truly thought I had contracted the plague and needed to be quarantined in the back room, only to be visited by people in hazmat suits. By the end of the night I was coiled on the couch watching horrible TV and whining, “I have AIDS” to my roommate… which you know, was a little silly. So I bundled myself under covers and shivered… and shivered… and watched more TV … got mad when the guy won on Tila Tequila… I wanted to throw something at the TV, but instead I just shivered and moaned.

Here’s the weird part, the next morning I woke up and I actually was feeling kinda better. But I still took the day off, I wasn’t shivering but I was hot…so I sat on the couch and sweat… and watched Bad TV… and sweat… and sweat… got mad at the world for not producing more hot men like Ilan from Top Chef. Too much TV? Maybe.

So I finally got off my ass and went to work at the card and gift shop…yea I know… more work, but tomorrow is a full day off. Thank Jebas. I think the whole sick thing was my body screaming at me to take a day off- I mean seven days a week? what hell am I thinking?

FitzClarke Out.

So it’s raining… and like the true Californian that I am, had a horrible time getting out of bed, freaked out while driving,  complained about the wet and mildly cool temperature with some co-workers, and now I’m currently pouting about the dismal weather on my blog. We Californian, cannot handle weather… and this goes for transplants as well… there must be something in the air… spend about a year here and anything lower or higher than 70 degrees induces whining and complaining.

“man it’s sooooo hot, I’m sweating through my bra..uck… how hot is it?”

“um, 75 degrees…”

“wow, it’s so freezing… I can’t feel my fingertips… and I need another sweater… uck, how are you wearing sandals…are you crazy?”

“no, cause it’s 68 degrees…”

And that’s another thing…why do people (ahem, southern Californians) insist on wearing flip flops all year round? Nothing looks more stupid than a person wearing a huge parka a woolly hat, gloves, and some flip flops. Hello? Don’t your feet get cold.

So, I guess many of you don’t know this, but about a year ago Kanye West made a big stink at the European Music Awards, surprise surprise. Anyway, when he didn’t win the music video of the year he marched himself on stage and took the award from the winning band, said some pompous stuff in the microphone…then left in a huff. What a jackass. Anyway the band that actually won is a French duo named Justice. They have this video out right now called D.A.N.C.E- which is is really entertaining.

Check it out: